Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
