I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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