guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
