and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
third nipple confirmed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
