Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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