we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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