We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
