how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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