i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
