So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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