TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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