well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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