a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
