I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
