I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
