I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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