Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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