He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
