so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
