I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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