Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
