Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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