He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
