Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
