There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
