Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
