I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
