oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
