Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
