The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Randomize
