perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
