I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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