I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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