oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
