I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
