Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
