She said her name was "party"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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