even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
