I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
