I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
