Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
