Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
