he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
