I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
