I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
