the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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