i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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