So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
