Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
