omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
