hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You don't make any sense
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