This girl is more easily done than said...
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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