My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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