Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
